The Physical Universe Is The Ultimate Guru

We all have times when we fear that someone is going to uncover the “truth” about us and blow our racket-reveal that our public image is just a con, and that there is nothing underneath it. The source of this self-doubt is a discrepancy between who we claim we are and what we actually think and do. We expend a lot of energy convincing the world that our image is authentic while covering up what really is authentic. Then, we wonder why people don't seem to appreciate certain qualities of which we are particularly proud. Sometimes our self-images and our public images don't match, our public and private “conversations” are different. To cite some examples: you may say that your word is gold, but in fact, not keep your word some of the time; or, you may say you live as a stand for responsibility, but there are instances in which you believe that circumstances beyond your control have determined your experience;or, though you say you are authentic and care about people, there may be times when you are uncaring and insincere, not letting others see and hear what is really important to you; or, you may have everyone convinced that you are the quintessential results-producer, but you hide the fact that half of the time you sit home watching TV.

In this chapter, I am asking you to distinguish between what you say you are committed to and what the facts say you are committed to. In other words, where, if anywhere, is your understanding of yourself inconsistent with what an objective outsider would observe? This could be a very confrontive process. It takes courage to even acknowledge that there are times when your actions don't line up with who you think you are (and who you think you have everyone else convinced you are). To evaluate yourself strictly in terms of your results, to calculate your effectiveness in terms of straight facts, reveals truths people often prefer to ignore. It will be necessary to your breakthrough that you look candidly at your results and consider what they reflect about the sincerity of your commitments and your effectiveness at fulfilling them.

THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE IS THE ULTIMATE GURU

Why focus on results? Doesn't that remove much of the humanity from life? I am not recommending tunnel vision about results, nor that the drive to achieve specific goals become your prime motivator. There is definitely more to life than just that which can be measured by your results. However, a healthy relationship with your personal statistics will assist you to create a climate for breakthrough. Your results provide the most reliable form of feedback about both your commitment and the effectiveness of your practices. They will spell out what is actually happening and what is missing. As the title of this chapter says,the physical universe is the ultimate guru. You can count on the facts of the physical universe to indicate how it truly is. The facts don't care what you think about them, whether you like them or hate them, or anything else about your interpretations of them. Having a relationship with the physical universe in which you honor the information offered to you through facts and statistics can empower you to take effective action.

Take a moment to explore your relationship with statistics. By statistics,I am referring to the measurable results in your life.Include all areas-physical health and fitness, education, career performance, money and material wealth, community involvement, leisure,marriage,children, home,and so on. Write your answers in your journal.

• Do you set goals? What are the goals you are currently working to ward? Are your goals specific and measurable, or broad and general?
• Do you regularly take stock of your results, evaluating your progress on and completion of your goals? When was the last time you reviewed your goals and your progress on them?
• Do you avoid setting goals or recognizing your results?
• Are you able to reduce things in your life to specific results? Can you look at situations and simply say, without justifications, either 'I did it' or 'I didn't do it,' ‘it happened' or ‘it didn't happen'? Or, do you generally tell a whole story about why you did what you did or didn't do what you didn't do?
• Take some time to reflect on your results-distill your results down to the straight facts.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO

Imagine there is a scoreboard that keeps an objective record of your actions.It doesn't hear what you think, what you feel, what you want; it isn't convinced or impressed by your image, it doesn't take into account how hard you try. It doesn’t deal with ‘why not,’ it only sees ‘what is.' It only tracks what you do. If you say you will be somewhere at noon and you are there by 12:05, the score doesn't show that you were only five minutes late, it just scores one in the category called “You didn't do what you said you were going to do.” If you promise yourself that you will work out four times this week, and you work out three times, the record doesn't say “Well, gee, at least you did better than last week.” It scores another one in the old “Didn’t do” column. Imagine if people were to hold you to account for the exact record on that scoreboard-if no one cared how badly you wanted to do what you said, or how sincerely you intended to follow through on it. Imagine how it would be if you were only defined by what you actually do,and if you only interacted with people on that basis. It may sound harsh, but actually, at an important level, you do get defined by what you do.

Think about it. We are social beings,and people can only perceive you by what you say and do-no one has any idea what goes on in your private conversation about yourself. As far as anyone else is concerned, you are what you do-no more, no less. People will listen when you have an explanation for why you didn't do something you had promised, or when you have a great story about how you accomplished something you set out to, but your interaction is ultimately based on what you did-the result and its consequences.

What you think or experience in your secret world has no bearing except insofar as it assists you to function better in the world.I say this not to malign psychological or spiritual experiences or other inquiries that don't yield immediate, tangible results. But if an inquiry doesn't have some relevance in the physical world, then you would be better off alone on a mountaintop meditating for the rest of your life. In theory, there may be more to human beings than meets the eye. In practice, however, what else do you have to work with? Counting on “potential” is folly.If there is something else, it has decided to remain concealed, and therefore cannot be directly addressed or effectively probed. God or higher powers or spiritual laws hold their own place in the human experience. Your journey in those domains need not be excluded from your development in the domain of transformation and breakthrough that Lifespring addresses and vice versa. To gain power over your presence in the physical world, though, you must first recognize that, as a human being, you can only intervene and make a difference through your actions in the tangible human world.

The discrepancy between your opinion about yourself and what the facts say about you, between who you think you are and who your actions say you are, skews your perception of reality. Our culture disdains much of what is authentic about being human. You are subtly encouraged to blend illusion and reality when it comes to your identity.That undifferentiated union of fact and fancy suggests,then,that there is some real “you,” some essence that is separate from what everyone else sees through your actions. This pretense covers up that you only exist, and can only be understood by virtue of your actual participation in the world, your practices and actions, the activities in which you engage. In other words,“What you see is what you get."

DOES ANYTHING MAKE A DIFFERENCE BESIDES WHAT YOU DO?

If you are what you do, of what significance are your thoughts, feelings,opinions,desires,fears,and so on? They are part of your experience, but they do not ultimately determine who you are or the difference you make. Who you are and the difference you make is based on what you do.

Try this: Wait for a clear night.Go outside-if possible, to the mountains or by the ocean. Look up at the stars and tell them what you think,feel, hope, wish, and fear. Really get excited about it. Be convincing. Show the stars the full extent of your longing, sadness, happiness,insistence,anger,fear,confusion,helplessness.Shout,cry, whimper, plead, threaten, laugh,flatter, whisper,pout.How do the stars respond? What kind of difference does all that information make to them? What is caused in the universe as a result? All this is to say, much of what “feels" or “seems" very important to you doesn't make any real difference in the world-the universe doesn't care about any of it.

A commitment to operating primarily in the domain of thoughts, feelings,and desires, fosters evaluations like “That makes me feel good (or bad),” “I think that is wrong (or right),” “I wish I had $1000 to spend on new clothes." We constantly have such thoughts, feelings, and desires, and they are nothing to ignore or avoid. But, those conversations, which we typically focus on in the drift, will not produce action,resolve breakdowns,or open possibilities. Rather,they will tend to make you right about your beliefs, solidify the status quo and diminish the possibilities for anything new to occur. Functioning in the domain of “You are what you do,” on the other hand, is a way to counterbalance the impotence of the drift. Living by the motto “You are what you do” engenders such questions as “What’s missing and what is the source of the solution?”“What's my next move?” “What will it take to have a wardrobe that works for me?" Such a framework will tend to evoke ideas,feedback,promises, and requests that will move you forward in a productive direction. No “inner” process will make anything real happen in your life unless it is part of a process that affects how you are in the “outer” world.

WHAT YOU DO VS. WHAT YOU THINK YOU DO

Do you ever experience people not responding to you the way you think they should, or misunderstanding you altogether? Or wonder why people don't seem to recognize how much you care about them? Or why a friend got offended when you had no intention of insulting him? Or why people don't seem to appreciate your sense of humor? Or why your expertise isn't sought out? Maybe you harbor the illusion that those traits are obvious (you know how caring, considerate, hilarious, and capable you are), but are not actually taking the actions in your life which reflect caring, consideration, humor,and competence to others.

Our interpretation of ourselves is so transparent to us that we assume it's what others see too. We get confused. We believe that what we think is real is what is real. We assume that how we see ourselves is an accurate reflection of how we appear to others. We think that we are who we think we are, not what we do.

Ask yourself the following questions and look at how consistent your actions are with your concept of yourself. Enter your thoughts in your journal.

• List your ten best attributes-qualities you are most proud of and that make you a person worth knowing.
• Go back over your list one item at a time. List the things you've done recently that demonstrate each one.
• Are you able to substantiate every claim?
• Are you actually 'showing up' in the world the way you think you are? Would an objective observer describe you the same way you have described yourself?

Where do you look to see how you show up in the world and how effective you are? Your own experience of yourself is unreliable; it is colored by your interpretations, your ego, your need to look good. The evaluations of others may be worthwhile, but that depends on their levels of honesty and competence. There is information available to you, however, that is a reliable source of feedback: your resultswhat you actually do. The facts, minus your assessments and justifications,illuminate where you are telling the truth about yourself and where you are buying an illusion; where you are effective and where you are not. You can only make corrections if you are accurate in interpreting the facts.

You might have noticed a contradiction in the last couple of sentences above. How can your interpretation of the facts be objectiveminus assessments and justifications-when it is just that, interpretation? On a purely abstract level, everything in the human condition is interpretation. To be human is to interpret. The challenge to you is to school yourself in streamlining your interpretations down to the most basic reports. Train yourself to hear the difference between statements like:"I can’t meet with you today,” and"I would meet with you today, but I don’t think I can”; “I missed the appointment,” and“I don't see why she got so mad-I was only a little bit late"; “I wish I had two more weeks to complete this assignment,"and “I have three days to complete this assignment”;“I didn’t get the account,”and“If only he had understood what I was trying to explain to him, I'm sure I would have closed the deal." Your psychological assessments and editorial additions to the plain facts can conceal the chief problem or issue, obscuring the truth and prohibiting effective action. While you can't not interpret reality, you can master the distinction between selfserving stories and impartial observations. It is in that distinction-in being able to observe the facts impartially-that you will find the tools for becoming more effective.

WISHING，HOPING，WANTING,TRYING

Acting on what you wish were true rather than on what is really true will only frustrate you. Say you are a man, five feet, eight inches tall, or a woman five feet even, and you think that life would be better if you were taller; people would find you more attractive, you would be more noticeable, and you would command more attention and respect -generally, you would pose a more powerful presence. All these are matters of interpretation. What would our objective "You are what you do" scoreboard say? The scoreboard would say “This is how tall you are." The world doesn't care whether you like your height, whether you think the tax structure is fair, or whether you would like to earn more money. Remember how impressed the stars were by your thoughts, feelings, and desires. The car dealer isn't going to sell you a new Mercedes because you wish you had enough money to buy it or because you think you deserve it. Wanting something does not cause any action to take place. Any results that occur while you are wishing, hoping, or wanting will only be lucky accidents.

The bedfellow of wishing, hoping, and wanting is trying.Take another example. You make the claim that you are committed to getting in shape. What it will take is to modify your eating habits and begin working out regularly. You set a goal for yourself of losing ten pounds in the next month and exercising three times a week. So you decide to cut down on desserts, and you buy the hottest new aerobics video. And you actually do cut down on desserts and you actually do work out. You feel better about yourself, which is nice. But, you look up one month later and you have not lost any weight. You really did cut down on sugars and fats. And you ate a lot of those healthful whole grains. A lot. You absolutely did work out regularly, though. Well,okay,one week you only worked out twice. But you had to stay late at work three nights that week to finish the big project. Regardless of how hard you try, saying you are committed to something, and becoming the practices which will effectively make it reality are different.

Our culture would like to ignore that distinction. We spend too much time and energy analyzing, acknowledging, and increasing our awareness of what isn't working, and not enough time changing our practices accordingly. We hate to admit when something that we are doing, especially something that worked for us or someone else in the past,isn't working now. We get stuck on the "try track." We think that because we tried, we accomplished something. We give ourselves a lot of credit, and expect others to acknowledge us for how hard we tried.

If your practices lean to wishing, hoping,wanting,and trying,an ability to interpret the facts won't accomplish anything. Analyzing how you got to where you are, predicting where you will end up, gesturing at taking action, or taking the wrong action, is a lot easier and less threatening than changing yourself and your behavior now in a way that will effectively intervene in the future.

THE OBSESSIVE

What about the other extreme? What about the person who is obsessed with results? The person driven to be number one, to constantly be topping his or her own and everyone else's performance? If you are that person, you are constantly checking your results. You don't have any trouble recognizing what is working and what isn't. In fact, you live to have the statistics validate your claims and are adept at correcting what doesn't comply.The statistics don't assist you,they run you. You,in a sense, have become your results. Record in your journal:

• What is your experience of life? Are you generating satisfaction?
• Do you hold people and things primarily as means to an end?
• Is the achievement of specific goals sometimes a hollow victory? Does it generate meaningful fulfillment?
• Is your life so much about 'destinations' that it is acceptable to you to be relatively unfulfilled during the 'journey'?
• When you are ninety years old, looking back on your life, will you merely have an impressive checklist of results, or will you also have an experience of having lived a meaningful life?
• What is missing for you?

Always maintain a healthy relationship with statistics, but if and when you are driven by obsession, broaden your criteria for accomplishment to include qualitative fulfillment as well as quantitative results.Instead of asking yourself the question “How many, by when?” ask“How many,of what kind, by when, and why?”

BREAKDOWN

Being committed to telling the truth about the facts will also empower you during the inevitable breakdowns and setbacks that you will encounter. Being effective is not about eliminating breakdowns, but about performing responsibly in the face of breakdowns. If your relationship with your results is unsound, you will tend to view breakdowns and mistakes as personal failures. Not failure like “Oh, I didn’t do what I said I was going to do,” but failure like “I must be some kind of incompetent, ineffective, uncommitted jerk." You become your failures. Eventually you stop looking at your results (your only reliable source of feedback) because it is too painful to face the possibility of failure.

On the other hand, not turning failures into personal invalidations liberates you to take a stand about correction and resolution. You don't become your failures, but rather you have breakdowns. Being in constant recognition without taking every setback personally allows you to correct breakdowns effectively. A breakdown isn't a direct reflection of you,it's something you deal with.And,come on, who doesn't get into situations where things don't turn out? In fact, the more you are operating on the edge of peak performance, the more likely you are to experience breakdowns. I'm reminded of a friend who liked to wipe out on the ski slopes. She said that if she weren't falling periodically, she knew she wasn't pushing her limits.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH RESULTS

So how about some practical tips about developing a so-called “healthy” relationship with statistics? First, ratify from your own experience that the physical universe is the ultimate guru. Train yourself to make the distinction between facts and your prejudiced assessment of the facts. Next, identify an area of your life in which the universe proves you are effective. Where, based on the results you produce,are you doing well? Allow yourself, then, to look just as frankly at another area in which the facts are not so favorable. Notice your assessments and justifications in each case. Boil each case down to the black-andwhite facts and ask yourself the questions: What have I accomplished?, What haven't I accomplished?, What's missing?, and What's next? Do this in areas in which you excel as well as in areas in which you are experiencing breakdown-it is just as valuable in both cases. Second, build a network of people who are honest and competent to give you feedback.In other words,a group of folks who are committed to your commitments.These may be friends, coaches, outside experts,family members,but must be people you will listen to seriously. “Use” this network, check in with these people regularly. There is no need to defend yourself,just listen and learn.

Finally,don't believe a word I have said. Stop, think, and look at how it is for you in your life. Live in the questions. Are you what you do,no more,no less? What implications does this have for you? What possibilities are there for you? What are you going to do about them? There are opportunities for transformation in struggling with these questions, and no opportunities in dismissing them without consideration.

Remember that after all this talk about statistics and “actual” results, all that makes a difference in your life is the stand you take about them. Your ability to discern the facts as objectively and impersonally as possible will assist you in taking effective action only if your commitment is to effective action. It isn't your results that make you a person worth knowing; it is your approach to life, of which your results are merely a by-product.